Dear So and So... & Letters of Intent {this is only the beginning}

 

Dear Diet,  

          I can't take it anymore; the guilt is more than I can handle... I CHEATED ON YOU. There, I said it! Now, before you go sending the Scale and  Skinny Jeans after me you have to admit my being honest counts for something. It started out as just flirting. No harm right? Well, I can testify that I was kinda taken advantage of. There I stood in front of the fridge, putting away left overs like any other night when I was seduced; I was captivated by the glowing light as it illuminated the Baby Bell cheese I had hidden someone must have put there. We were old friends. Sometimes it's easy to find comfort in the familiar and I did. I loved every filthy second of it  felt like crap, really. Ok, keep pushing and I'll tell you how I really feel! HE IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN YOU!

Unfaithfully Yours,

 Kelly

Dear Scale, 

I knew you'd be the first to tell my dirty little secret. You want me to fail. You've always wanted me to fail. But, ha ha I beat you to it with full confession and there is nothing you can tell my Diet that he doesn't already know. Just remember this - if we have to have this discussion again, I'll step on you so hard I'll make your dial spin...

Try Me, 

Kelly

Dear Skinny Jeans, 

They say confession is good for the soul so while I'm at it I might as well tell you the truth. You are the only one I've ever wanted. I know, I know, we haven't been together since highschool, but I've never felt with anyone the way I felt when I was with you. You held me like no other and I know we looked amazing together. Sure, it's been almost 15 years and I know I wasn't faithful back then, but I will be now. I will cherish every moment given one more chance. Search the very depth of your soft denim heart and tell me you don't long to caress the curves on my be with me too. I'm sure my recent actions make you question my sincerity and I don't blame you. Just give me a chance. I will prove to you my love is only for you. Remember the good ole days when you and I would group date with The Boobie Twins, Mr. Good Bra and Low Cut Shirt??? Oh my, the thought alone motivates me to make this relationship work. 

Longing to be with you, 

Kelly

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