I've been communicating with Foster Mom the last few days. As best we can that is, considering the language barrier. She speaks little English and I speak NO Spanish! So, I found this nifty little thing called Babel Fish on Yahoo. It rocks. We have been able to translate our emails. I'm looking forward to meeting her. We'll be heading to Oregon June 24 and will meet our children for the first time.... I can't wait. I have so many questions, but I have to wait to ask. Foster Mom is going through surgery and isn't feeling well. I respect that. We had prayer for her at church today.

One Happy Mama

I got to speak with the children's SW yesterday. We talked for some time about our little sweeties and I'm so pleased. She told some great stories about them. I could almost see them in my mind as she spoke.

What I know now....
J is quite the little princess! She is a show stealer and will even stamp her little foot at you in protest if you make her mad.... (SW said this one is hard to discipline because she's so darn cute...lol.) I'm a sucker for a cutie, but we will see. Hopefully we will be able to get a handle on that quickly. She also said that when J starts talking she will probably say something like, "Let me just tell you how things are...." Little smarty pants!

N has a really short haircut right now. She said he does not tolerate them well so it looks like they probably grabbed him, held him and buzzed it all off. She also said that recently the kids have been in day care some because Foster Mom had surgery. They are doing great there and N is doing suprisingly well :) Yay for progress!

E is still having some trouble being a little Mama and always trying to be the good little girl. She's a pleaser and SW said E doesn't initiate a lot of interaction so we will need to work her out of her shell.... Sounds like a job for D. D as Daddy that is. He's so gentle and she is close to her Foster Dad, so we will see. I want to try to relieve her of her motherly duties as soon as she will let me.

Travel- We are waiting for Foster mom to give the ok for the dates we've chosen for our visit. I emailed her and I'm hoping she will reply soon. When ICPC is approved, we will fly over again and M, D, SW and the kids will fly back. She said our visit will be enough time that we shouldn't have to stay again. This rocks!

So... that's what I know. And, I know I love these kiddos! Pray for all to go well and quickly.

Love to all!
~K

Travel update

Well, we just received word from our case-worker here in Florida. She said that we can travel anytime after May 29th for our first visit to see the children. We will most likely fly out of Tampa, FL where our friends live so that we can get the cheapest airfare. It's about a 5-1/2 hour drive from here but we will save quite a bit on airfare.

Everything is starting to move fast and I can't wait to meet the children, I pray that they will feel safe and comfortable with us. I thank God for the blessing of allowing me to love and provide for five children. I firmly believe that all children belong to God and that we are privileged that God allows us to have them in our lives and care for them.

It breaks my heart to think of the initial sadness and confusion that the children will most likely experience during this upcoming transition, but I know that it won't be long before they will feel right at home with us here in our home.

I pray "Lord, please give me just the right words, at just the right time to comfort our children. Please give me wisdom and guidance, as well as understanding. I ask that you would bless me with the ability to be a great provider for my family. Bless my family today Lord and keep them safe. In Jesus name, Amen."

Pinch Me!!!!

I couldn't even blog last night... way too excited! The committee said YES! Yesterday was a day of all days for me. Every second took a minute to pass and hours were so slow. I had anticipated sleeping in a little later, but was up as normal by 6:30. My emotions were at full peak. I won't speak for anyone else (eh hem D) here as I know they want to share their own.

Here's how it went...
6:00 pm - I went in the bathroom for one last prayer, passed Mom coming in as I was coming out (we pray in the bathroom... everything comes out better in there ;) )

6:02 - phone rings, I freeze and D answers.... he's too calm. He doesn't even flinch so I'm reading or at least trying to, his face... nothing. So I whisper ARE WE GETTING THEM, he nods, still calm and cool and I.... well.... I ran, leaping and screaming down the hallway setting off the boys emotions as well passed the bathroom where you can now here the wales and hollers from Mom and meet Granny at her door..... (exhale) She says DON'T HAVE A HEARTATTACK! It was great!

I called my Daddy, my Pastor, Shawnee and Belinda, and of course Rayvin (my God-daughter). Mom called my sisters and D called his family. The boys were calling Lord knows who to tell them! It was crazy, but a moment we'll never forget. I'll blog about the events prior later, too embarrassing. I really, really was a wreck for a bit. ;) Kids are good in those times... you will be proud.

Love to all! I'm going to mail my Ma-in-law something D made for her for Mother's/Birth Day!!!

~K

The countdown begins...

Well, here we sit at 11pm with great anticipation and excitement, coupled with just a touch of fear and concern for the choice that will be made 3000 miles away. Not only a choice that will affect our lives, but more so the lives of the three little angels that we have been preparing for all of these weeks and months.

Tomorrow will definitely be a long day, I'm sure that K, myself and the boys will jump everytime the phone rings, anticipating the call that we have been waiting so long to receive. The cell phones will remain fully charged and never out of arms reach, the boys ready to sprint at a seconds notice to ensure that they will be present in the room when the long awaited call comes in.

I pray that if the decision is made in our favor that God will provide me with the wisdom and strength needed to be the best provider I can for my family. I pray that the transition will not be stressful for the children and I will do my best to ensure that they will feel welcome and safe in their new home.

I am completely exhausted right now and feel that it is time to call it a night. I look forward to tomorrow and pray that all goes well.

God Bless,
-D

This one's for the ladies...

When you have to visit a public bathroom, you usually find a line of women, so you smile politely and take your place. Once it's your turn, you check for feet under the stall doors. Every stall is occupied. Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch. It doesn't matter, the wait has been so long you are about to wet your pants! The dispenser for the modern 'seat covers' (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would hang your purse on the door hook, if there was one, but there isn't - so you carefully, but quickly drape it around your neck, (Mom would turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your pants, and assume 'The Stance.' In this position your aging, toneless thigh muscles begin to shake. You'd love to sit down, but you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper on it, so you hold 'The Stance.' To take your mind off your trembling thighs, you reach for what you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind, you can hear your mother's voice saying, 'Honey, if you had tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet paper! Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny tissue that you blew your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse. (Oh yeah, the purse around your neck, that now, you have to hold up trying not to strangle yourself at the same time). That would have to do. You crumple it in the puffiest way possible. It's still smaller than your thumbnail. Someone pushes your door open because the latch doesn't work. The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the tank of the toilet. 'Occupied!' you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle on the floor, lose your footing altogether, and slide down directly onto the TOILET SEAT .. It is wet of course. You bolt up, knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was any, even if you had taken time to try. You know that your mother would be utterly appalled if she knew, because, you're certain her bare bottom never touched a public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, 'You just don't KNOW what kind of diseases you could get.' By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so confused that it flushes, propelling a stream of water like a fire hose against the inside of the bowl that sprays a fine mist of water that covers your butt and runs down your legs and into your shoes. The flush somehow sucks everything down with such force that you grab onto the empty toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged in too. At this point, you give up. You're soaked by the spewing water and the wet toilet seat. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you found in your pocket and then slink out inconspicuously to the sinks. You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and walk past the line of women still waiting. You are no longer able to smile politely to them. A kind soul at the very end of the line points out a piece of toilet paper trailing from your shoe. (Where was that when you NEEDED it??) You yank the paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell her warmly, 'Here, you just might need this.' As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has long since entered, used, and left the men's restroom. Annoyed, he asks, 'What took you so long, and why is your purse hanging around your neck?' This is dedicated to women everywhere who deal with public restrooms (rest??? you've GOT to be kidding!!). It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long. It also answers their other commonly asked questions about why women go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other gal can hold the door, hang onto your purse and hand you Kleenex under the door! This HAD to be written by a woman! No one else could describe it so accurately! Send this to all women that need a good laugh!!!!!! A Friend Is Like A Good Bra.... Hard to Find, Supportive Comfortable; Always Lifts You Up; Never Lets You Down or Leaves You Hanging And Is Always Close To Your Heart!!!

3 days!

Just got back from a walk with my 3 guys. It's so cool and breezy - this weather is amazing! We took the pooches for a walk and they're sprawled out on the floor right now like a cow hide blanket in a mountain cabin.... don't have a clue where that came from, but that's what Russell looks like right now. He's our standard, black n tan dachshund :) Angel has her head rested on his back... these two are like an old married couple. Sweet.

Ok, so 3 days until committee meets and I'm happy, nervous, praying... well, a bucket of different emotions. We have been positive (and still are for the most part) up until this moment and the sinking reality that someone else, well, 3 someone elses control our future. Friday is the day and I feel every single second that passes by. Days are dragggggging on and nights are almost sleepless because I can't stop thinking! Note: I am not sleep deprived, I just think and daydream a lot! We could soon be meeting our children for the FIRST time! Wow. Ahh. Exhale.

Good news report! My SW emailed me today and she said the children's SW contacted her and is already getting the ICPC paperwork started for if we are chosen. Do you know how BIG the word IF is when it pertains to your children?!? Like, huge. I need everyone praying. Everyone has been and I know that is why we have gotten this far. Man, the doors that have opened for us because of prayer. Sometimes God is so good I can't stand it! You all rock, too!

I haven't heard from Oregon to know if our books arrived but man they must have by now. I let some little ones we know see the children's book and read it to a few of them and it seems to be kid approved. Hopefully E, N and J will be turning the pages and "meeting" us soon!!!!

So, what are we feeling right now? Hmmm. I have to go look up a word.... ok! This fits.

an⋅tic⋅i⋅pa⋅tion 
–noun (i would have thought verb)
1. the act of anticipating or the state of being anticipated.
2. realization in advance; foretaste.
3. expectation or hope.
4. previous notion; slight previous impression.
5. intuition, foreknowledge, or prescience.

but to make this accurate, here's another.

ex⋅treme
1. utmost or exceedingly great in degree: extreme hope.

EXTREME ANTICIPATION

This is where we are at this point in our journey.

I am about to enjoy a warm shower and a good book so I will post again... well, I'm gonna post a read for all the ladies next. LOL. Because I love u!

~K

Thoughts and Ponderings

We had our interview Wednesday with the lady who will represent us at the committee. She was very nice, thorough (which I love) and provoked some thought in us which is a good thing since we've ran out of things to think about on our own.

It is so hard to imagine all of the possibilities of things we can, may, or probably will experience with the little ones. With N's diagnosis of Autism, we have been reading, researching and questioning a ton of people. We always seem to end up in the same place though. We know the "basic" surrounding it all, but "every child is different". From the paperwork we have been able to look at we see that N has made amazing progress in his current state and that Foster Mom feels he is coming around. We are so happy about all of this. We have began to look at every aspect of our lives from the point of view of a child with Autism. What noises will bother him? How will we provide him a safe place to settle during/after meltdown? What is our exit stratedy when we are in a place that he cannot handle? Then, the thought arises that we do not even know him yet. We know the potential challenges he faces just because he is ASD, but I cannot wait to find out what his specifics are. I know about the dishwasher, tags in clothes, no comprhension of danger, sometimes lacking eye contact.... etc. That may seem pretty big and yes, it is but all seem managable.

We have had several "family meetings" with B and R since the whole process began and if I haven't said it before, these kids amaze me with their love and generousity. We tell them the things that can be expected with adoption from fostercare in general and explain a little about autism, (little because we do not want them to have wrong assumptions about things). We talked about things that are 'solid' in our family and things that are 'changable'. One of the questions we were asked was about our decision to homeschool. She asked if the children began to interfere with our ability to homeschool, would we give the children back? Valid question. Answer - absolutely not. We are committed to doing whatever we have to for all of our children. Sure we may be required to spread ourselves thin and depend on outside help, but THANK GOD, we have a great support system and we are already making alterations to our lives. I let the church know that I will be taking time off from teaching classes for awhile... they expected that. I have moved the boys' schoolwork from the kitchen table to my room and they are observing what "quiet time" in our home will be like if the kids are napping. We've talked about the E-bag we will always have packed, what should always be in it, and where it will be. (Emergency Bag)We will also have the E-drawer in the van. Diapers, wipes and a change of clothes for everyone. I do remember some things from when B and R were little. I am looking forward to all of this really. D is too. Which brings up another question. She wanted to be sure he is as committed to adopting as I am. Another valid question and her reason for asking was based on a recent experience she had. He answered her by saying he was fully committed and would rely on my mom and granny to help him, but he would never leave them- they are his children. When we hung up he laughed at the fact he was the one who came to me to get this ball rolling. Although we had always talked about adopting, we weren't always on the same page timing wise. Then, the day he said lets do it, everything fell into place. I had to let her know that I am the mouth in our family. I am a natural born talker and D just isn't. He depends on me for that a lot and I always look to him to be sure I convey his message correctly. He and I talk at length about things and are not new to eachother's processes, so it works.

Anyway, back to the topic of autism. I hesitated at first to read books and 'learn' too much because of the fact no two kids are the same on the spectrum, so I chose books that were experience based, most written by moms of ASD kids. I can't say I've drawn a plan from any of these, which wasn't my intent, but I did see a picture of what a family looks like that has had to embrace their child's exceptions. The similar and same things I found across the pages are what I took into consideration. The rest will come from guidance and education from his counsellors, therapists and doctors. I am interviewing people all next week so I will have an idea of who we might be using in all this. It's hard though. The conversations go like this.

THE BAD ONES-
"HI, I am looking for some information about the services you offer and would like a moment to explain my situation."

"Sure"

"My husband and I are in the process of adopting 3 children, one is 3 years old and diagnosed with Autism. We have only a little information and will share what we can, but we want to be proactive in his care. Should I go on?"

"You're adoping [as if to say you are CHOOSING this] a child who has autism? Why?"

"Thank you for your time, I will seek other avenues."

--------
Then there are those who you just wanna go hang out with because they are amazing people!!!

"HI, I am looking for some information about the services you offer and would like a moment to explain my situation."

"Sure"

"My husband and I are in the process of adopting 3 children, one is 3 years old and diagnosed with Autism. We have only a little information and will share what we can, but we want to be proactive in his care. Should I go on?"

"Absoultely! You will learn so much from him and obviously already love and are ready to embrace his differences."

I go on to explain his current 'plan' and what is working according to the records I have. I can feel her smiling on the phone! YAY! She said she can provide me the information I need with no problem. Occupational therapists, behaviorial therapists, play groups, parent support groups, educational options...

She said so much I almost had info overload, but the willingness to help and the love for the children made the choice easy. So, we look forward to the meeting and hopefully will be making these people a part of our lives soon. (We still have to bring the children home)

Yet another note. I mentioned before that E was recently evaluated and found to have some tendancies to be motherly toward people and horde materials. This is pretty common for foster children because even as young as they are they still experience loss and she has obviously. Feeling unsure of where the things she needs will come from or be available, trying to care for others as if she's the mommy - this is something that she will need help with. She will probably need to continue with her therapy and we will seek out a pre-school that has experience with foster children. I have that on my list too. I found a local preschool that offers spanish classes! Hopefully it will be a fit because I want her to continue in that. All of them really, but she's the oldest and I want to be sure we do what we need to pretty quickly to keep that a part of her life. I don't want E to be in pre-school all day everyday though, N either. Nevertheless, we will do what is deemed best for them. Our home is pretty flexible so, we will see how things go.

I am starting to ramble and have lost my train of thought to dinner plans so I will post again later.

Up way too late....

It's nearly 3 am here and I'm up. I've been sick for 2 days and sleeping has not come easy for me. The Dr. gave me a shot of Decadron and an antibiotic to kick this cough, drip and fever. I feel some better, but was restless when I went to bed.

So... what have I been doing? Well, praying, for one. Our phone interview is in less than 12 hours now. I'm nervous a little, hopeful a lot, and prayerful of course. See, we've been asked a million questions by many different people throughout this journey and it's so hard to imagine that people (most who have never met us in person) hold our future in their hands. The committee people are the one's we are hoping look at us with their hearts and see us fit to parent E, N and J.

D is off tomorrow and Thursday and I am so glad. He's very attentive when I'm not feeling well.

The fundraisers for Children's church are going so well. We have a lot of orders for this weeks meal which we will start to cook tomorrow. 36 pounds of Boston Butt is being cooked, pulled and bar-b-qued for sandwiches! Mmmm Mmmm. Sweet Baby Ray's is THE best sauce in my opinion and I've had no complaints so far! With the sides of baked beans, slaw and a slice of cake, I think we'll make some repeat "donors" out of this one! The meatball subs weren't a bad thang either if I do say so myself! I made a chart for the kids to see what we've raised so far and I think they'll be pleased by the results on Sunday morning. This is just 2 dinners down! We are taking 32 to Wild Adventures theme park in Valdosta, GA the last weekend in July for an end of the summer trip. Some will attend Youth Camp with our church organization in mid July, but I think we might have to miss it this year depending on the dates of the visit to Oregon. I asked B and R how they felt about this and they both looked at me as if I had 2 heads and said mom, we're getting our sisters and brother.... we can miss camp! I smiled. That's what I love about them. They are so into this adoption; so into being big brothers and ready to teach them so many things. Some of which recently I have had to laugh at. More on that later. (there is a video)

On another note. I went to Target to get prescriptions filled and happened upon the clearance rack... accidentally (if you'll buy that!). I got some great buys at $2 and $2.98 a pop! J will be sporting 3 new, adorable knit sweaters, E, 2 cute tops, and N 2 tees that are so soft I wanna sleep with them! I've been a little more cautious in buying for N as he has some issues with certain types of clothing. For instance, the nylon sports type pants that make a very annoying noise when they rub together, drives him crazy! Well, clearance rack was full of them. He hates tags which makes him a perfect fit in our quirky family. I just want to learn a little more about those things before I do a lot so I've stuck with simple t-shirts and some Garanimal shorts because they're safe. I must say, I do love sewing too! I've made the girls some cute little dresses and rompers and I've got the material to make all the boys (Daddy, B, R and N) some lounge pants! Daddy's getting flames, B wants camo, R wants Money (haha) and for N, I chose race cars. I might make us girls some too with a ruffled cuff just because I can! Ok, that was bragging... YES! I learned to ruffle and I can't for the life of me figure out why I didn't pursue this new hobby early on.

I am planning to tackle a coveted family project too. My Nana always made what we affectionately call Quillows. It's a quilt that folds into an attached pocket and makes a pillow. I have one she made me and each of the boys. My Aunt is making one for the little ones and I want to make one for my sisters sis-in-law who is due very soon. Baby Lily needs a quillow.. or I need an excuse to make one. I think I'll make one for my grown up like-a-daughter too. She's due in Sept. with her 3rd daughter and it wouldn't be fair if the new baby has one and her sisters don't. I need stock in JoAnn Fabric! Ok, so enough already. It's too late to think and I'm actually tired enough now to try this sleeping thing again. Love to all!

~K

Mother's Day

Today was a wonderful day for me. I spent it being honored by my wonderful sons and D, my best friend and love of my life. I also had the privilege of sharing it with my Mom and my Granny (her Mom), and my sisters who are both Moms also. We had a great dinner at the Golden Corral and then spent the afternoon relaxing after a loooong week. A dear friend of mine who attends our church lost her mother. She was buried Saturday which made this Mother's Day, for her, very sad. She's a rock though and one thing is for certain, she left nothing unsaid and has no regrets. That is a subject close to my heart... Legacy. What will I leave my children to remember about me? How well will I have done? I think the only way I can answer that is to start living intentially with that in mind. As morbid as it may sound, I have a few details of my own funeral already planned. For instance, I plan to sing and record the main song I want played. I don't want tears, I want joy to abound. I want to live each moment of my life from here on out as if it is being recorded in a book for my children to read. Will they remember me as loving and kind - only if I live that way. I know it is a near impossibility to obtain the title of the Proverbial Woman, (Proverb 31) but I think we should try as women to partake of those characteristics. I want my children to rise up and call me blessed. I want them to say that they never doubted that Mama prayed. I have A LOT of work to do to become all I want to be remembered for. I am going to start now; with repentance, a humble heart, and a made up mind.

Ok, so I went of on a tangent. I look forward to next Mother's Day when I have 5 little ones to share this gift with. Wednesday is our interview and we are still excited! I am praying the ICPC paperwork flies! That is often considered the longest part of inter-state adoptions. Each state has to agree to all the terms BEFORE we can bring the children home. God has been amazing so far as we are (believe it or not) ahead of the norm! After this process is over I plan to write an article or something with a positive light about the process of adopting from foster care. I look things up all the time and the process is bashed continually. As far as the overall experience of adopting from foster care, I have none yet, but as I do I will share.

I didn't get a response from N's birthday card as far as whether or not he got it, but I hope he did. J's birthday is in July - surely we will have them by then. She will be 2! I am praying we have them by Father's day. That will be so special for D. He and the boys are as anxious as I am. R keeps asking me WHEN ARE WE GETTING THEM? I wish I had a date.

Keep praying! Love to all

~K

Counting the days....

Ok, counting the minutes, but who isn't. Our phone interview is May 13th at 2:00 CST. I've been in contact via email with the representative from AFFEC (A Family for Every Child) She seems very nice which adds another positive experience to our book. Speaking of book, the Children's book has been published and should be here tomorrow. I made the book for the committee and it is being published now and will be mailed directly to Oregon. Waiting is soooo hard to do!

On another note, we've worked hard all day fundraising for the youth camp! Monday, (literally 3 days ago) we decided to do meatball sub dinners for a $6 donation. In minutes we had 20 orders and rounded out today with 66! Not too shabby. Tomorrow's orders are still coming in. We are making up the subs, a bag of chips and a choc-chip cookie and delivering them to offices and stuff. It is exciting!

Tonight is a birthday party for my little cousin T who is now 4. She's a doll! I made her the dress she is going to wear to her party and another one as a gift. She's loving it. Ok. I have to end here. Love to all!

~K

Book for the Children